November 20, 2024
Entrepreneurs, by definition, have an inherent vulnerability in the sense that they venture down a road of uncertainty. The willingness to try new things, fail most of the time and live a life majorly comprised of instability.
But many, like myself have had a struggle with being vocally vulnerable with those around us, closest to us, and especially the outside world. We don’t let our vulnerability show because historically and societally, it’s been widely acknowledged as a sign of weakness and even self-doubt.
Because of the uncertainty in our lives and businesses, we try to balance that uncertainty by vocally over-compensating our certainty in other areas.
We feel the need to let people know that everything in our lives and business is going great. We have so much momentum, a new partnership that will change everything, a big investment right around the corner and the list goes on. We outwardly project this even if things are very much not okay. Even when we are in loads of credit card debt, worried about missing payroll, unable to pay back student loans, about to be evicted from our home or ruining our most important relationships because we can’t handle the stress and are on a short fuse.
I’ve lived this and understand the mindset behind it. I would think, “who is going to want to invest in me, believe in me or even work for me if I can’t be seen as the strong figure at the helm who just keeps marching despite what I may be going through.”
What I’ve realized, now being on the other side of the table as an investor, is that vulnerability in a founder is one of the biggest advantages and indicators of future success. Any time you’re being pitched, you’re only seeing the “Instagram” version of that founder, not who they truly are. Taking the time to understand their personal lives, struggles, motivations and what they have sacrificed to be here today.
Through years of self reflection, amazing organizations like Entrepreneurs Organization, and therapy, I’ve begun to feel more comfortable sharing my vulnerability with those closest to me and now, to the outside world.
I did an exercise last year on vulnerability asking myself the question “Who is Noah?” where I wrote down a number of declarative statements about myself which I’ve shared here:
I am confident
I’m overly optimistic, many times to my detriment
I let people into my business life too easily and my personal I make too difficult
I’m guarded from being burned in the past
I at times can be a pleaser and feel a need to make everyone feel included in a conversation
I need things to be tidy
I’m a routine freak and when out of one feel uneasy quickly
I care too much about what other people think
I’m a healthy eater
I care too much about outward appearances
I don’t take enough time to enjoy the small things
I get energy from people but am becoming an increasing introvert
I love to read and find comfort in books
I need exercise to function
I am chronically underprepared and find satisfaction in my ability to wing it
I set high expectations and at times force things unnaturally to make them come true
I used to give people the benefit of the doubt but increasingly assume the worst
I don’t let my outer emotions show and instead cope with them internally
I measure my self worth too often from business success
This post in itself is a challenge of vulnerability for me. Five years ago, I never would have guessed that I would be speaking to you all like I am today, but through years of effort and practice I am beginning to find comfort in my vulnerability. My hope is that it’s contagious.
How can you be more vulnerable this year?